Faced with a teetering economy, a possible sovereign subprime debt crisis, a breakup up of the currency union, and the hellish prospect of working into their late 50s, Europe's citizens demanded an epic meeting of minds, a concerted action to assuage them of their plight, that they may pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, even if those bootstraps are made by illegal Chinese immigrants in Italy.
That effort was made this week as Euroweeners and their "footballs" voted for the winner of the Eurovision song contest. It's like American Idol but with fewer toffs and more socialism. Anyway, this annoying fucking thing from Germany will save Europe from debt deflation:
I'm no music critic but this is basically the soundtrack to the Holocaust. If the devil take the hindmost then all the other continents have nothing to worry about. Even Antarctica, because whatever sounds penguins make blowing each other can't possibly be as bad. Excuse me while I diversify my foreign currency holdings.
A Mr. Bloggington Achievement Award, however, goes to Azerbaijan, who used their Eurovision entry as a ploy to take back Nagorno-Karabakh while Armenia was busy checking out this girl's ass:
EXTREME GOLF CLAP.