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Sunday, January 10, 2010

FT Front Page Executive Summary: Can I Avoid a Borat Joke Edition

If your bank gets bailed out, and you still feel the need for an entertainment budget, then just seriously go ahead and die.

The US International Trade Commission imposed dooties on imports of Chinese steel pipes. Oh fuck BORING.

Kazakhstan is probably the world's biggest uranium miner now, and they might have been trying to sell some to Iran, unless they're not and weren't.

Okay, let's say you're a Muslim, you're from Nigeria, your dad's already warned the US embassy that your skullcap is on a little tight, you're known to have had sexy internet chats with a nutcase Yemeni cleric already known to have had sexy chats with another recent terrorist murderer douche, and intelligence agencies have already caught wind of a possible terrorist attack involving some Nigerian Muslim with connections to Yemen. How 'bout we don't let you on the plane? Take a cab. Or drive one. Dots. Connected.

Relatedly, some European airports will use full body scanners ("Dutch ovens") to defend planes against anymore Hanes bombs. And they come with Dance Dance Revolution. Have you ever tried to dance with pentaerythritol in your anus? Not easy.

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