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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

FT front page roundup

Climate negotiations in Copenhagen ended with a watered-down "deal" that everyone agreed was not a deal at all and what the fuck are you talking about?

Rich country negotiations stagnated after Friedrich Reinfeldt of Sweden noticed Angela Merkel's manhands, and the acrimony reached a head when Hugo Chavez and Evo Morales led developing countries in a surprisingly catchy "yo, fuck the po-po-polar bears". And who cares about yanqui gringo bears anyway.

John Mack of Morgan Stanley decided not to take a year-end bonus since his bank will likely make a loss. REVOLUTIONARY.

And Google's cutting-edge 21st-century genius nerd plan of scanning books that no one reads so as to be easily sued by their destitute authors is going swimmingly, like polar bears.

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