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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

FT front page roundup: Billionaires with Douchebags Edition

North Korea's temper tantrums have gotten worrying. The military hotline between the two Koreas was cut, this coming after the North said it would no longer respect maritime boundaries and threatened Southern commercial aircraft entering its airspace. The tizzy is likely to be a prelude to a missile test of the newer Kinedowang Taepodong IIs, which are capable of hitting Sarah Palin's house, which she can see countries from. There was even some speculation that the US would attempt to shoot down any missile launch, which recalls an episode from my childhood, throwing toys of my crib and then shaping up once my mom started shooting them down with surface-to-air missiles.

Also, one of Kim Jong-il's sons was "elected" to something this week, marking him as Kim's likely sucessor. It wasn't the one who likes Eric Clapton, unfortunately.

Pharmaceutical giant Merck is acquiring rival Schering-Plough, so hopefully they'll make us the hippie wonder drugs that make war and depression seem dull.

Japanese stocks tanked as the current account swung heavily into deficit in January, highlighting the swan dive in exports and the strength of the yen. The yen has since fallen back as investors finally forgot why they ever considered Japan a safe haven.

China introduced a security crackdown in Tibet on the eve of the 50th anniversary of the failed uprising in Lhasa, which last year sparked anti-Chinese riots. Communist party leaders continue to struggle with the mother of all public relations dilemmas, how to slander a nice old man who everybody likes.

And Helg Sgarbi, some douchebag who suckered wealthy women out of millions, including the billionaire heiress of BMW, confessed and will be going to Swiss federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison. Apparently he pretended to be a secret agent, just like sexy Bill Paxton in True Lies. This totally works, apparently. Anyway, I'd heard about this story a year ago so I suspected he must have been a dashing super stud. Yea, well...

I am doing something wrong.

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