European Union leaders gathered in Berlin to discuss the financial crisis and how they don't like it. Initial progress was made as the UK declined to block discussion over financial regulatory reform, and Germany agreed to take steps to bailout its loser neighbors should it become necessary, which it will.
The group photo session however was ruined when it became clear Nicolas Sarkozy had tracked dog shit everywhere.
Dubai, city of make-believe and poster-child of real estate and financial excess, received a bailout loan from the United Arab Emirates' mothership in Abu Dhabi to cover its not-so-make-believe debt. Unemployed camels will have many shiny buildings to look at.
The government of Switzerland and its banktards have their panties in a wad over attempts by the US justice department to make US citizens, like, pay their taxes. Switzerland ranks among the few countries whose national point of pride is, in fact, a crime.
Hope-fondler Barack Obama promised to work constructively with retards in Congress in order to halve the budget deficit to only several trillion dollars. Ultranerd Peter Orszag, head of the Office of Management and Budget, indicated the administration would begin honestly reporting how broke it is, thereby destroying George Bush's legacy.