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Monday, January 26, 2009

FT front page roundup

It turns out Bank of America may have known about human turd John Thain's awesome Bonus for Losers scheme at Merrill Lynch. Thain then was presumably fired for other turdly reasons.

Also Tom Montag, whose department was responsible for fucking half of Merrill's losses, will be promoted at BofA, because it would cost millions to fire him thanks to previous severance agreements. Remember how we're always telling the Europe to make it easier to hire and fire people? God Bless America.

After the dismembered corpse of John Thain was mailed to their offices, Goldman Sachs decided not to throw a huge party at the Davos World Economic Forum this year. Sorry kids, no body shots of Lloyd Blankfein's hot abs. Instead, all the bankers will play a few rounds of "asshole", which they will win.

Shockingly, car part makers are also looking for a bailout. Its only a matter of time before the bailout industry needs a bailout.

And everyone in India is too poor to go see some movie about how poor they are, which isn't funny.

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