Citigroup and Merrill Lynch reported huge losses last quarter and will need to be rescued again because they suck and I hate them.
Pressure is building for a new plan to deal with banks' troubled assets, since the TARP--the Troubled Asset Relief Program--didn't. Prepare for TARP II: The Swedish Connection.
European Union regulators launched an anti-trust investigation into Microsoft's inclusion of Internet Explorer in its Windows operating system. This will single-handedly save the planet.
Barack Obama dropped his Blackberry when he got out of his car because he's obviously incompetent.
And Warner Brothers is trying to make inroads into the mass synchronized frolicking that is Bollywood.