Suicide terrorist geese brought down a US Airways flight over New York but everyone survived.
President Bush said his "war on terror" thing worked because we only had one 9/11. God, please just go away.
Bank of America really will be the Bank, of America, with a $15 billion rescue combined with $100 billion in guarantees.
The European Central Bank cut rates by 50 basis points just like they said they wouldn't because they're pussies.
Former chancellor Gerhard Schroder of Germany will be appointed to the board of Anglo-Russian TNK-BP because Russia loves him and he loves their money.