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Saturday, January 24, 2009

(Friday's) FT front page roundup: Hey Fuck You I Was Tired Edition

Haha. BofA chief Ken Lewis fired Merrill Lynch CEO and human turd John Thain in person, possibly because he suggested a $10m bonus for himself despite the awfulness of his company; or possibly because he snuck in bonuses for Merrill executives before BofA could cancel them; or possibly because he spent over $1m renovating his office. An insider explained that during their meeting there was a "mutual agreement" that Thain was a human turd and should die. New York's attorney general is now investigating the bonuses.

"Banker of the Year" and serial market-bottom-caller Ken Lewis, it should be noted, bought Merrill and other stellar institutions like Countrywide for like, 5 pesos, which it turns out was still too much. You get what you pay for, dude.

Tim Geithner hasn't even been confirmed for Treasury Secretary yet and he's already started a trade war with China. Geithner accused China of manipulating its currency, which everyone knows already, but violates the first rule of diplomacy which is to ignore the obvious.

Microsoft
gave notice that even consumer staples like internet porn wont save the company from the effects of the downturn.

And Spanish bank Santander was one of the few banks to make out decently from the financial crisis, until the whole Bernard Madoff Ponzi scheme thing. Homoerotic documents from one of Santander's funds describe Madoff's skills as "impeccable", and that he "find[s] great entry and exit points to benefit investors." Class-action lawyers are now looking for vulnerable "entry and exit points" of their own.

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