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Saturday, December 13, 2008

Shorter Congressional TARP Oversight Panel:

Call to step up scrutiny of rescued banks
"hahaha, you guys have no fucking idea what you're doing, do you? pfff."

Our Great Depression Re-Enactment of 2008 is well over a year old now, stumbling around the kitchen and pooping all over itself. Ample opportunities to organize some sort of cohesive, predictable response to the next big-ass bank failure that everyone knows is coming have been squandered, like so many opportunities to smack your disgusting pooping children.

The Citigroup deal (Geithner!) was the latest face-plant. Aside from sparing shareholders, Citi's "bad" (shitty) assets were not "ring-fenced" into a likewise "bad" (shitty) bank, a la Sweden's super-awesome bank restructurings of 1990something, so there' s no guarantee Citi wont be back in Washington in a few months (days) creepily asking to blow everyone walking in or out of the Treasury Dept. for $5. Schnergen!

So everyone is left to deal with same uncertainty post-bailout, and the ultimate question, who will eat the giant CDO shit sandwich?, is no closer to being answered. If (a) bank(s) fail(s) tomorrow, no one can say with any confidence how a rescue will look, or even what sex it is. So everyone will continue peeing their pants, interbank rates will go all Viagra, and the credit crisis will grow into the smelly annoying kid who sucked-ass at kickball.

1 comment:

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