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Thursday, December 18, 2008

Fucking Thailand

Thailand's opposition has finally weaseled its way into power so we all get to remember some other guy's name no one can pronounce. Abhisit Vejajjiva is a UK-born economist and the third prime minister in four months.

Basically what happened is in 2006 the country's monarchy, elite, middle-class, and army hated it that poor people kept electing zillionaire mogul Thaksin Shinawatra, Thailand's Silvio Berlusconi, and decided to have a superfun army coup with tanks and everything. Thaksin's Thai Rak Thai party was banned, but reconstituted under another another name, the PPP, and won the elections organized by the coup leaders. Pwned! The army finally said screw it after getting sick of politicking and let the PPP under Thaksin's friend Samak Sundaravej take power. Samak was then ousted, not kidding, because he was paid to appear on a cooking show, so he was banned by the election commission. Somchai Wongsawat, Thaksin's half-brother, then took over for the PPP. He was the one finally canned after the opposition found enough votes to secure a majority in parliament, after Australians began complaining that the political crisis was getting in the way of their sex tourism.

The most disturbing part of this mess has been the role of the People's Alliance for Democracy (PAD) and King Bhumibol.

The PAD's yellow-shirts had been leading the rallies to have Thaksin's allies ousted from power, blocking parliamentary buildings and the country's airports, trapping helpless sex tourists in Thailand, where they were forced to continue sex-touring. The PAD argues, literally, that poor Thais are too dumb to vote correctly and that a third of parliament should be appointed directly by the king, which is, uh, totally "for Democracy".

King Bhumibol gave a nod to the 2006 coup and the PAD's antics, though he is legally beyond criticism thanks to a harsh lèse majesté law which prevents Thai's from saying the following without going to jail.
  1. "Hey, King Bhumibol, I heard you like to dress up in girl's clothes and have an extensive Bratz doll collection."
  2. "Hey, King Bhumibol, your hat looks fucking retarded."
  3. "Hey, King Bhumibol, I don't think its a good idea in a healthy democracy to have a king that's above criticism and is friendly with coup-leaders who like overthrowing democratically elected whatnots."

1 comment:

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