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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

blatantly obvious things

Standard & Poor's has an emergency newsflash:
Eleven of the world's biggest banks were yesterday downgraded by Standard & Poor's after the ratings agency said the current downturn could be longer and deeper than previously thought.
Holy fucking shit no!

Credit ratings agencies (CRA) seriously have the sweetest business model in the history of people. In an upswing they get paid by companies to tell them how awesome they and their products are. It doesn't matter if anyone understands them or that they were structured by cows. If the cows are payin' up then moo bitches. And the best part is that the CRAs are not liable for any of this 'analysis' when people find out cows can't read or add. This is because of something called 'freedom of speech', which I gather is in the Constitution somewhere, probably because of hippies.

In a downturn CRAs have even more fun because they get paid to tell companies that they suck, as in the tremendously useful observation above that hey, maybe you shouldn't buy bank debt in the middle of the worst financial crisis you've been alive for. So for the reasons above, I'm downgrading S&P two notches to worthless fucks.













[above]: rigorous analysis

1 comment:

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